Cheaters Always Get Busted

What’s the best was to beat a drug test??? Find someone who is drug free and sort of looks like you and get them to be your impersonator.

We had this happen at our clinic, a mother came in impersonating her daughter. They were quite clever and had somehow electronically placed the mother’s picture on the driver’s license of the daughter. I’m not sure how they did that but the license looked real. The collection was proceeding normally but our collector had a 6th sense that something was just not right, particularly when he wrote the birthdate of the donor of the lab chain. That’s when it hit him that something was afoul.

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What’s 2 ounces of clean pee worth??

We recently had a truck driver come in for a random drug test. Truckers fall under DOT (department of transportation), a Federal Government organization that regulates the trucking industry as well as airlines, public transportation, coast guard, railroads, and pipeline workers. All safety sensitive employees who work in these industries are mandated to take random drug and alcohol tests. We see more positive drug tests for DOT workers who are “surprised” with a random test than we do if they are taking a Pre-Employment test. Pre-Employment applicants can simply stop using drugs long enough to get a negative test result.

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We perform testing on-site for our clients. This is usually done for scheduled random testing and unscheduled after hours testing most commonly done for post-accident or reasonable suspicion.

We were summoned to a local manufacturing plant to perform a post-accident drug and alcohol test after hours on one of the plant supervisors. As is customary, we first performed the breath alcohol test with no incident. Following that the donor gave multiple excuses as to why he was unable to urinate, realizing we weren’t leaving he finally produced a specimen about an hour later.

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We recently had a female donor come it to our clinic for a urine drug test. She made her first attempt but was unable to produce enough urine to be tested (we need 45ml, about 2 ounces). We gave her a bottle of water and sent her back to the waiting room while we attended to other people testing that day.

She wasn’t there long when she shot up out of her chair with her pants soaking wet and abruptly left the building. Apparently she had a “clean” specimen of urine hidden on herself somewhere and the container it was in broke spilling the urine all over herself.

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