Don’t Dew It
Many clients of ours prefer that we come on-site to conduct drug tests. Doing so keeps their
operation running smoothly with little to no down time, which can save them money. Testing on-site is a
cost effective and convenient way to test applicants or current employees.
This cheater story begins with an on-site drug testing event. Some of our clients test groups of
people that are in the process of being trained or during their new employee orientation. Testing was
going very smoothly until one donor gave us a specimen we couldn’t accept. We don’t believe it came
out of her body. We followed our standard procedures, which includes giving them some water and
letting them try again. The distraught cheater returned to training with her fellow future co-workers,
and we continued testing other folks. After testing a few more people, the collector returned to the
training room to test the next person in line only to find that the room was empty.
They soon learned that the class of perspective employees were given a break, and allowed to roam freely in the halls and break room. This is not the best practice to follow when you have someone in the group that has tried
to defraud a drug test. The best thing would have been to not allow them to leave the room, or have
someone that works there accompany them as they take their break. When the break was over and
everyone returned, our cheater was ready to try again! She entered the bathroom and quickly came out
with her specimen. When she handed over the cup of “urine”, the collector knew something wasn’t
right. The color was a neon yellow-green. Upon further inspection, the collector caught a whiff of
something unmistakable — the sweet smell of mountain dew, his favorite drink! The cheater had gone to
the break room and nuked a cup of mountain dew in the microwave.
The collector was amused by the efforts of the donor, and politely asked where he could get a mountain dew before pouring the specimen cup of warm soda into the toilet and flushing away the last hope of the desperate cheater.