Cheaters Always Get Busted

We recently had a female donor come it to our clinic for a urine drug test. She made her first attempt but was unable to produce enough urine to be tested (we need 45ml, about 2 ounces). We gave her a bottle of water and sent her back to the waiting room while we attended to other people testing that day.

She wasn’t there long when she shot up out of her chair with her pants soaking wet and abruptly left the building. Apparently she had a “clean” specimen of urine hidden on herself somewhere and the container it was in broke spilling the urine all over herself.

The most common container used to bring in urine is a condom. Condoms are used because of their strength and the ability of the donor to “hide” the urine in a discreet location and a location that will keep the “clean” urine at body temperature (use your imagination here). Many donors once they enter the bathroom will put a small pinhole in the condom so that they can attempt to fool the collector into thinking they are actually urinating into the specimen cup.

We suspect this donor tried this maneuver and was unable to get enough urine out of the condom on her first attempt, she then got nervous, and came out of the bathroom. Once she went back to the waiting room the condom burst on her, wetting herself and our furniture with used urine. Gross!!

Part of our job duties around here require a good knowledge of the use of an upholstery cleaner!!


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