We’re one of the few clinics that allow personal tests. Most clinics will not test individuals who are not associated with an employer or company that sanctions the test; the reason is because of all the cheating that goes on and the clinics refusal to deal with an individual that cheats on a personal test. Yes, believe it or not, we get folks who come into our clinic, pay for their own test, and try to cheat. Hence, we always have them pay before we start the test. Frequently these cheaters are looking for a negative test to show their; lawyer, spouse, parent, grandparent, etc. to prove that they are drug free.

One of our most recent personal test scenarios started with a synthetic urine sample that was 100 degrees, it’s plausible that urine could come out of the body that warm if you had a fever, but our highly trained collector could spot that it was synthetic urine right away. The donor was not happy with us and called her lawyer; we explained to the lawyer that the specimen did not meet our criteria, and we could not accept it, and she was welcome to try again.

The cheater argued that the temperature was within range (collectors are trained to accept urine between 90-100 degrees); that’s a sign of a seasoned cheater when they know what is supposed to be acceptable to a collector. What she didn’t plan on is encountering our staff, who do not just look at temperature as most clinics do but implore all our senses and experience to determine if we will accept a specimen. The frustrated cheater stormed out the door, but then promptly returned demanding her money back; we explained there are “no refunds”. The cheater then gave us a resounding FU as she walked out the door and, when she left the parking lot, drove the wrong way down a one-way street.

We’re happy to accommodate those wishing to take a personal test, just be warned that we use the same diligence in providing accurate, reliable, results that our regular customers have been accustomed to.